June 12, 2005

This one's inspired from a pea.

I'm listening to my chinese mp3s now. A whole CD of chinese mp3s I got from all over during my rampant downloading days. Listening to these music in my mother tongue makes me feel... hmm... assured, secure and comfortable on this i'm-feeling- slightly-insecure-and-strange night.

The mind, however, is on the question on ah girl's blog. ==> What types of people do you get along best with? In other words, what are the characteristics or personalities that best "fit" you?

Before I even attempt to answer, my disclaimer: I tend to sprout more nonsense than usual during certain days of the month. Occasionally, the nonsense makes me appear to be less who I am than who I am; most of the time, it confuses myself. Get my drift? Good. Here goes...

I sometimes think that deep inside, I actually don't get along with people at all. That might explain why, on the surface, I seem to get along just fine with most people. Sometimes, people lose me. Meaning, I end up being someone who one can be very close with but without really knowing. Sometimes, I lose people. I don't want to be in the company of anyone. I retreat into a very exclusive sphere with only my own company. Sometimes, I lose myself, if you know what I mean. Don't ask me to explain.

What are the personalities that best fit me? The minimal, I guess, is to have a real personality. You know, not someone who keeps getting stepped over because they are trying to blend in with the rest. Having said that, don't we all blend in with the environment in one way or another? So, where's the line? Don't I, too, blend in with most of the world around me? Otherwise, how do I explain 'getting along just fine with most people'? Maybe, I'm the one who's always trying to fit with everyone around me. Yes, I'm the one who has no real personality.

We already alluded to this long ago. But, since we're on this, I don't mind 'reassuring' myself again... that I'm one of the best in this cast, on this super big stage called the 'world', show entitled 'The bizarre life'.

I think I didn't really answer the question. Well... I gave my best.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 23:26